"Have you never heard such a mangaling of the language which we are speaking?"

4 year old as quoted by his mother: "Le pregunte 'quien es tu maestra?' 'maestra Amanda.' 'le gusta ella?' 'si, ella es buena genta. y tambien ella tiene cabello.' 'tiene cabello?' 'si como papi. ella tiene cabello en su brazo." Translation: 4 yr old went home a told his mom I'm good people and I have... hairy arms like his dad. awesome.

Overheard: teacher-"scientists say that the global temperautre has increased by 1 degree. Doesn't sound like much but it's like taking a popsicle out of the freezer. It takes 1 degree more to start melting. ..(later)methane gas can contribute to global warming. We make methane gas when we fart." student "so if i fart on a popsicle, i could melt it?"

SLP: "let's talk about our book. Who's the author?" students-"judy blume." "and what's the title? What's the name of this book." student-"oh! Uh uh...Fecal Juice!"

Aaron came to my school today to drop off some things that I needed (such an awesome guy!). I was with a kinder student who jumped up & followed me to the door to find out who this man was who came to visit. Student: "Quien es el?" (Aaron & I panicked...) Me: "Quien es?" Student: "Es tu... papa?" (after much blushing) Aaron: "No, ella es mi novia." haha!

(Looking at a picture of the solar system) Me: "Aqui tenemos los planetas. Donde vivimos?" My kinder kiddo: "En el planeta Earth." Me: "Si. Hay otros planetas. Miralos cerca del sol." Kinder kiddo: "Cual es esto bien pequeno? El rojo como se llama?" Me: "Eso es Mars." Kinder kiddo: "Donde viven los aliens?"

Me: "We've been learning about lots of different animals and now we're going to review some vocabulary." (mammals have fur, live birth, babies drink milk, etc. reptiles lay eggs, etc) 2nd grade kiddo: "So...the mom mammals have babies and feed their babies milk and the mom reptiles lay eggs...so what do the boy animals do?"

Me: "What's the capital of New Mexico?" 4th grade kiddo (after a thoughtful pause, and with all sincerity...): "uhh..M?"

(first grade kiddo looking at a birthday calendar): "Look! Someone's birthday is on Halloween (October) and they have one on Christmas (December). And which one is St. Patrick's Day because did you know that one time when I was in pre-school and it was St. Patrick's Day it was gross because in the bathroom there was green pee in the toilet because the Leprechaun didn't flush the toilet."

vocab lesson: perch. "From his perch behind the clock, Hugo could see everything." me:"What does perch mean?" boy:"Like a type of fish?" me:" Yes, but does that fit our story? He's watching the old man, waiting for a chance to steal the toy. How could a fish help him?" boyt:"Well...he could slap the man with the fish. It would work better if it were a really cold fish so he could slap him & get away."

me: "What state do we live in?" 2nd grade kiddo: "United States?" me:"Actually, we live in a state called New Mexico." kiddo:" Oh ya. Hey, I wonder what happened to Old Mexico..."

"Ms Lettuce? I mean...Ms. Lewis?"

(1st grader): "Ms. Lewis, you wanna here my joke now?" "Sure!" "K. Do you know the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu? Well anyway for the bird flu you get a tweetment and for swine flu you get a oinkment."

overheard...teacher: "Who takes care of animals?" kinder: "vet!" teacher: "Who takes care of us when we're sick?" kinder: "doctor!" teacher: "Who takes care of our teeth?" kinder: "The toothfairy!"

lesson: seeds. me-"Peas are seeds. They grow in something called a pod." 1st grader: "Like an iPod?"

4yr old: "Oye! Tengo 10 dedos." me: "Puedes contarlos?" (counts ten fingers). me: "Puedes contar mis dedos?" (counts 1-10) 4yr old (looking amazed):"Tu tienes 10 dedos tambien! Oye! Puedo contar mis dedos del pie, tambien!" me:"Cuantos hay?" 4yr old (1st ft):"1,2,3,4..." (2nd ft) "... 5,7,8,9,10,11,12,14,16, 40,41,42,4...3,44,45,46,47,48,49... 40! 41,42,43,44,45,46,47,48,49..40!..." & so on...

(overheard during a test) SLP-" Finish this phrase -Roberto worries about a lot of things. His friends say he is a _____" student-"Weirdo!"

2nd grade boy" Hey! Can you pull my tooth?" me"That's a job for your mom or dad." boy"Why can't you do it? It feels funky." me"That's not why we come to speech. Maybe you should ask the toothfairy to do it. Leave a note that says if she wants your tooth, it's still in your mouth." boy"What?! She takes them, not pulls t...hem. Anyway, she's not strong enough. She's too tiny. She's not human."